July292010
Surprise! 

Surprise! 
July282010

Note to Self

Don’t tweet shit about smoking meth. Your mom’s on twitter nowdays and you’re still not sure she’s recovered after finding out that you’ve touched boy’s wieners.

6PM
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Machine Gun Fellatio - Rollercoaster

 

Still the best band name EVER. 
July252010
“You smell like bacon & oppression, man.”
When I grow up I’m gonna be a beatnik. 
July212010

THESE PEOPLE EXIST. I HAVE DATED THEM - XVI

Ex tweaker. Kept the cleanest goddamn house known to single mankind. Purveyor of assorted heavy duty pharmaceuticals & some truly awesome weed. Rad make out buddy but close to ruined mechanics downstairs. Only dude I’ve ever had to quit mid blow; if shit had taken any longer someone woulda filed a missing persons report.




 Fucking amphetamines. 

July192010
Goddamn. Sick of squinting & kinda terrified of getting wrinkles so booking an eye test.   Fuck I hope smart-assed, dirty mouthed dorky chicks with glasses still get laid. 

Goddamn. Sick of squinting & kinda terrified of getting wrinkles so booking an eye test. 

 

Fuck I hope smart-assed, dirty mouthed dorky chicks with glasses still get laid. 
July62010
When you tell me you’ve become a vegan I’m forced to ignore the new scene fueled ‘enlightened opinions’ you’re trying to preach at me & simply think of your alternative protein sources.  I’m not sorry. 

When you tell me you’ve become a vegan I’m forced to ignore the new scene fueled ‘enlightened opinions’ you’re trying to preach at me & simply think of your alternative protein sources. 



I’m not sorry. 
June272010
“Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.”
So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
June262010
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Jane’s Addiction - Ain’t No Right
June232010

Apparently I have a type

4 of my ex’s have been/are in hardcore bands (most of them shitty). Another one co-owns a hardcore label. That’s a standing count of 5. These aren’t just the usual ‘thanks for last night’ guys either, these are 5 guys I have actively dated. And I don’t really ‘date’ a whole lotta dudes. Two I grew up with. One I moved states for. One I agreed to marry (long story).


So what does this mean?


Apparently I like dirty men who rarely shower, have lots of tattoos & little to no musical ability. If I knew any better, I’d have probably have lost all respect for myself by now.



 

Also kids, that is exactly why you should always have regular STD tests.

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